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On our healing journey, we often engage in communities, forums, coaching, and practitioner meetings to help us find our way back to freedom. And in these interactions, there can be a temptation to be ‘rescued’ versus to be supported or guided. Recognizing your underlying energy of engagement in these various resources requires discernment. There is an important growth opportunity if we realize that we are seeking help from the mindset of “please, rescue me from this!”

I am writing this blog to highlight a common issue within the limbic system rewiring community. It’s an issue I once struggled with deeply. I would write posts on forums that were very much “please rescue me” type of engagements, only to have my posts deleted by the moderator, leaving me filled with shame and exclusion.

If this has happened to you, please know that this is an opportunity for your growth of what I term “a healthy adult main personality”. This experience highlights that you need to grow your ability to seek guidance in the form of self resourcing and mentoring, rather than being rescued as if you are not capable of directing your own healing process.

You are so powerful, and you are capable of self-healing. And sometimes you might need some guidance along the way. But trust me, you never need rescuing.

When you reach out to others, to a forum, to your coach, etc., I recommend you pause before writing. In this pause ask yourself: “Am I in my adult main personality, or is this question coming from a scared, wounded part of me that wants a grown up to take care of me in some way? How can I seek resourcing and guidance on implementing my tools, or my healing program without making someone else responsible for my emotional state?”

I was often stuck in a fear-based, ‘help me and just tell me what to do’ mindset. I put my personal power into others hands. This resulted in a brain state where my limbic system would stay in hyper-arousal, despite getting support and help. There was never enough support that any forum, coach, or doctor could give me to calm me down. This is because I couldn’t give myself any support. I was seeking rescue from the mindset of a powerless victim to my situation. And the good news: I turned this pattern around. I learned so much that I developed a whole program focused on teaching others to find their healthy inner adult and rewiring their nervous system to embody Primal Trust.

I had a great mentor in my healing journey who would challenge the hell out of me by pointing out when I was in rescue mode. She helped remind me just how resourceful, capable, and powerful I was. She never tried to fix me or solve my problem for me, but rather pointed me back to my own wisdom within. I got mad at her many times, just have some pity on me please! I’m so sick! She had compassion instead, and she refused to witness me as sick and powerless. She held the vision of me that I couldn’t hold for myself at the time. Now I try to hold that vision for others that might not be able to quite see it in themselves yet.

The simple practice of being conscious of how you are seeking help or advice can result in a significant change in your limbic system’s sense of safety. By reaching out to others from an energy of “help me see how I can empower myself better here”, vs. “Rescue me from this hell!” will send a sense of ‘I’m resourceful and in a growth mindset’ to your limbic system. Your nervous system will respond in a positive way and you might just realize you don’t need to be rescued at all. You rescue you. And that doesn’t mean you don’t have guides along the way.

Next live 5 month training in cultivating your Primal Trust begins Jan 25th. I’d love to help you discover this resilient, self resourced healthy inner adult within.

Cathleen King, DPT

I'm an expert on chronic illness, chronic trauma, relationship/attachment repair, and inner child healing. I’ve got the rare combination of in-depth doctoral-level education and training as a physical therapist, and many years of coaching others in wellness and lifestyle education. And, I have been through my own heroine’s journey of spending nearly 2 decades of my life navigating through deep, debilitating illness and finally found my way out!

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